How Many Times to Discuss Underage Drinking

By Natural High Staff

Most kids grow up and never see drug use personally. Sure, they hear references on TV and movies, they might even hear about relatives or neighbors who’ve abused drugs, but mostly it’s something that happens ‘out there.’

Alcohol consumption is quite different. Most kids grow up seeing adult role models who drink, so how do we help them navigate healthy choices when they get mixed messages?

Teens are more prone to engaging in risky behaviors. Their brains aren’t fully developed, they have a unique thirst for dopamine, and they crave acceptance from their peers. To make it even worse, alcohol is easily the most accessible substance — way more than illicit drugs. And it is socially acceptable for adults to drink; it’s a normalized behavior.

A common view is that youth drinking is the norm, but most young people actually do not drink. Research shows that young people tend to overestimate how much their peers drink. This increases the risk that they will drink to ‘be normal’ or be like their peers.

When their desire to fit in overrides their caution or personal values, they can make life-altering decisions with substances without realizing what they’re doing. We can intervene and educate them so they’re able to understand and make wiser choices.

Teens and alcohol use

• Kids who delay their first drink of alcohol as long as possible will have an infinitely higher likelihood of avoiding a lifelong struggle with alcohol.

• Using drugs and alcohol at an early age has been associated with multiple problems later in life such as negative health, social, and behavioral outcomes.

• Research has found that over 40% of all individuals who reported drinking alcohol before the age of 15 became alcohol dependent at 4x the rate of those who first reported drinking at ages 20+.

• First use of alcohol at ages 11–14 greatly heightens the risk of progression to the development of alcohol disorders.

• 90% of addictions start in adolescence.

• Alcohol affects the parts of the brain responsible for self-control. Given their inclination for risky behavior, alcohol consumption increases the likelihood of making poor decisions and unhealthy choices, including risky sexual behavior and suicide.

• Motor vehicle crashes are a leading cause of death among young people. 22% of teen drivers involved in fatal crashes in 2022 had a blood alcohol content of at least .08%.

Set the expectation with your child that there will be no alcohol use. Some parents or caregivers believe that it is better to teach their children to drink responsibly or in moderation than to have clear rules against underage drinking. Some feel that, as long as their child doesn’t drink and drive, some alcohol use before the age of 21 is to be expected and is not a big deal.

Beliefs like these are not supported by a growing body of research. Evidence increasingly points to the specific harms of any alcohol use prior to adulthood. Numerous studies have shown that kids whose parents let them drink before they reach the legal age of 21 are more likely to drink in riskier ways and experience future alcohol-related problems than kids whose parents do not permit any underage drinking.

The dangers of alcohol use are clear and need to be discussed with our kids. How and when do we discuss the dangers of underage drinking? Probably more often than you think!

Years of prevention research have proven that kids who have an ongoing series of discussions with their parents, especially during the middle school years, have the strongest likelihood of making wise choices regarding substances for the rest of their lives. Too often, though, this goes overlooked. Parents get busy. Kids pull away, etc.

Most parents aren’t aware that the more you initiate and engage your kids in thoughtful discussions about the dangers of harmful substances, the better off they will be.

Even better are a series of ongoing discussions over the years. But there’s one important caveat to these important interactions — they need to be interactions. No lectures or monologues — they have to be dialogues and conversations. Text messages don’t count, and neither do notes in their lunch bag.

It’s critical to help your kids manage the dangerous scenarios they’ll likely find themselves in by helping them have clear boundaries and expectations. As much as teens grate against the rules, restrictions, and boundaries adults set for them — they still need them. They aren’t wise enough (yet) to make the best choices for themselves. They lack the context, life experience, and ability to see how their current choices will affect them in the future.

Adolescence is such a critical phase in brain development that the actions of alcohol and other drugs on the brain have a particularly profound impact during this developmental period. Youth need guidance and especially through boundaries and guardrails we set for them. That’s our responsibility. We need to continue operating as their brake as they push down the gas pedal.

Even though they roll their eyes and argue at every turn, they know deep down that the restrictions we set for them express our love and concern for them. Kids who have adults in their lives who give them too much freedom too early often develop a deep-seated belief that they aren’t valuable or worthy, and they carry that fundamental belief with them into adulthood.